It’s Not Okay To Be Not Okay by Alexandra Esperance
May 27, 2023Recently, I received an email with a community update about mental health services with the statement “It’s okay to not be okay”. I’ve heard this statement for some years now and it always bothered me. I could never agree with it, especially when it came from one of my ex-boyfriends who liked to throw it at me anytime I disagreed with something he said or did.
I always felt like it was telling me to just accept what I was feeling like there was nothing I could do about it or there was nothing better than what I was feeling.
As someone who experienced chronic depression, I refused to believe that I had to accept depression and that it was okay. That was the point of my salvation, it was either Jesus or death because depression was unbearable for me. So, when I read the email this past week, I had to talk with Jesus 😊. I ask, “Why does this statement bother me so much and why is it used concerning mental health?”
After my chitchat with Jesus, I understood it. Saying “it is okay to not be okay” comes into agreement with whatever the enemy says you are or what you’re feeling. You’re accepting the current state that you’re in and don’t see anything past it.
It has become an acceptance speech for most. I agree that I can’t go beyond this point. I agree that sorrow is my only option. I agree that my mind will never be stable. I agree that I will fight addiction forever etc.
As Christians coming into an agreement that does not describe the characteristics of God or His promises, keeps us in the enemy prison.
In Isaiah 61, God says he came to heal the brokenhearted, bring liberty to the captives, comfort those that are mourning, and give the garment of praise for heaviness. So how can we consciously say “It’s okay to not be okay” when God says it’s not okay and He came to bring something different? Didn’t Jesus die to give life more abundantly?
There’s a difference between acknowledging and accepting. I acknowledge that there’s a problem, but I refuse to accept this as my fate. I acknowledge that I have suffered miscarriages, but I refuse to accept that this will remain my story. As a mental health advocate, I refuse to allow anyone connected to me to accept that “it’s okay to not be okay”. I rather you say “It’s not okay to not be okay”.
Isaiah 61 1-3
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to [a]heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To [b]console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
Alexandra Esperance, Author
